remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
