Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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