Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
