i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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