I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
