Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
