I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
