The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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