he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
