Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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