My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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