i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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