Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
