Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
