somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
