Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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