Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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