it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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