do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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