Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
