Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
