You just made me feel so damn special
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
