did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
How external is "for external use only"?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
