Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
