idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
