My balls are so social today.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
