I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Randomize
