Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
