Having a random hookup so left but love u
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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