His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
