i think my mom watched the whole time
Welp...herpes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
