I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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