I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
