I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When are your genitals available?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
