She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
