i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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