Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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