Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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