Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
