you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
