I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I pour the whiskey from now on
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
