I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i think i just lost a toe
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
