its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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