i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
