barbara walters just said penis...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
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