...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
