Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
