I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
