I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
