I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
