You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also, beer. Big fan.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
